Heaven or Hell ?

Being alive and wanting to die and not dying is a torture, because the fundamentals of either enjoying or not enjoying the process of life — the fundamentals of what you refer to as heaven and hell — are just this: If you are in anything willingly, that is your heaven. If you are in anything unwillingly, that is your hell. What is most beautiful can become the ugliest thing if it happens to you unwillingly. What is the most beautiful thing and what is a horror is just a question of willingness and unwillingness.

So the moment you say, “I want to be detached”, you become unwilling for the process of life; you make a hell. No wonder you want to go to heaven. Because people have made a complete hell out of themselves, they want to go to heaven, obviously. I hope they proceed soon because those who have made a hell out of themselves will invariably make a hell out of the world also. If somebody is joyful he will make sure that everything around him is that. If somebody is miserable, he will cause misery to everybody around him.

Yin-Yang says if there is heaven there has to be hell and so is willingness & unwillingness.

how do i battle these 5ive thoughts ??

Five thoughts in the mind that cripples a person's happiness.



1. Anger
2. Hate
3. Envy
4. Judgemental
5. Fear






I know that its extremely diffiult to exist without these five elements of thoughts. Now I can atleast be aware of these whenever my thoughts begin to drain me into these. All i can best attempt is to simply brush aside these negative thoughts, else there will be a bloody 'civil war' waging in my mind and finally my physical body and my mind will be the captives of the bloody war.

My Mind : Is it a 'chemical warfare' in the mind or a 'bloody civil war' ?
Me : Well it all depends to the physical extent to which the war is waged.

Coffee, Hide'n Seek with Fire Sprinklers

2oth Apr'2006 it was yet another lazy sunny thursday after noon.
The time was 1510 hrs and perfect to grab a cuppa frm the cafe`. I sipped ice cold water then picked up a large pack of Hide'n Seek for me and my dear comrades in the lab. I was at the lab door by 1523 hrs. At a killing pace made my way through the artery of charis and ethernet cables and onto my L3C ( Last Lab Last chair ). Handed over the big box of Hide'n Seek to Murthy. The aroma of coffee from my cuppa was spreading in the lab. The vapours from the coffee cup placed infornt of my 17' LCD were settling on the screen. Murthy with his standard accent offered Hide' Seek to everyone and I quickly grabbed a small piece of Hide'n Seek.
The choco chips in the biscuit melted on my dry tougue. I was extra careful today not to spill coffee on my favourite creame coloured pants. Carefully picked the cup in fornt of me with my left hand and from my right hand wrapped the cuppa with a tissue. As i could feel the vapours from the cuppa tickling my nose slowly took a deep sip holding cuppa safely with both my hands. Murthy standing besides me quickly exclaimed about a weird sound of air gushing. Quickly I saw the sound was coming from the fire sprinkler right above us on the roof. Murthy fumed when few drops of water dripped on his head. But now the sound ws lot more intense and i could hear a distant water trying to gush out. With in no time the Sprinker was in full glory water simply gushed out with full force. All we did was to run out of the lab along with Adithya. Adithya screamed a bit :) after he walked out of the lab to get hold of the facilities. I quickly grabbed my cuppa and ran with it while taking few sipps.

Waiting outside the locked lab for the security officer and facilities to take control of the situation. I gazed from the glass window water getting sprinkled in all directions with full force upto 7ft inside the lab and on the glass window. All of a sudden I remembered "Black Mesa Labs" from the game "Half Life" where in the time warp experiment fails and the aliens constrained are set free and they start hopping all over the "Black Mesa Labs". Luckily there were no aliens out here in our lab.
Just then i see Muthy lurking back into the lab along goes Sachin also. I quickly go and clear all the artery of charis inside the lab to make for Murthy to carry the computers outside the lab. I see Murthy removing the computer cabinets and Sachin moving all the LCD monitors. In the extreme corner i see one of CRT monitors flickering I proceed 2 steps forward and i could fell cold water entering my shoes and my socks getting wet. I see secuirty officer infront standing on a chair struggling and holding the sprikler to plug out the water from leaking. As i proceed towards the flickering moniter the lights in the lab go pofff. Right behind the monitor i see a power strip drenched with water with its red lamp barely flickering. With my wet index finger i slowly extend my arm to switch off the power supply to the power strip.
The moment i made the contact with the switch I realise that that this could be my last flip of a switch & oops there it goes a nerve wrecking surge of current down my arm through the index finger. Just at this moment the facilities personel cut off the main power to lab. I consider myself lucky to be alive tonight to write this near death experience. Saddest part is i see my Hide'n Seek pack completely dissolved in water that was kept on my desk. The facilities put up a placard at the lab door and whisk me out.
Well i go again to cafe' and buy a small pack of Hide' seek and ensuring i enjoy it in the Sun outside the cafe' along with another cuppa :)

Why React ?

We are always so much engrossed in the situation that we often give ourself time to think, all we do is "react". We give our intuition to take control which at most times doesn't work and glides you into deep misery, suffering and anger.
What ever may be the circumstance or situation at the first instance dont "react". Just sit back for a moment be a spectator and you see "reacting" leads you no where.
Conversly to the Newton's Law "Every Reaction has an endless miserable state of action on the mind"

The unstruck sound

Intuition is the ability to perceive directly, without the aid of five senses. The first step would be to become intensely aware of the input of the five senses. First, your ears become adept at picking up distant sounds. As your expertise increases, subtle sounds from the astral world assail your ears. Sound that is not made by two things striking together, is the sound of primal energy, the sound of the universe itself. It is of different types, depending on what your vibratory frequency happens to be.


Sit comfortable put your hands in your lap, with the left hand over the right and thumbs of both hands touching lightly. Close your eyes and relax. Take a deep breath to count of five and breathe out slowly to a count of five. Shift your awareness to the external sounds. Focus on one sound, follow it for some time and then shift to another, and so on. Just be a detached witness. Now listen to sounds within your body — your rhythmic breath and heart beats. Listen to the silence between sounds. This is the fertile area where subtle and astral sounds can be audible. Observe any vibration or tingling around the ears. Gather all your awareness and concentrate on any subtle sound which you can hear like roar of ocean. Absorb all your attention into this sound and allow it to lead you to its source. Ask yourself — “Where is this sound coming from?”. The body and mind are nothing but vibrating energy and the energy is the same as the vibrating Cosmic Energy. Now go back to your breath and body awareness. Listen to external sounds. When you are ready, gently open your eyes.

L3C

Today while i was helping fixing some crontab entries in one of the labs i saw l3c popping out on my im coversation with LG.
Keen observation of passers en route to cafe` & getting a sneak peek from the corridor across the narrow visibility from the glass window lies l3c. All these years i was under the impression that l3c meant "Yamaha L3C Protable Keyboard Stand".
I'm astonished to the fact that l3c meant "Last Lab Last Chair guy". Can I get even more dumber ignoring the fact of lighter moments that life can offer...