Undulation

this post may sound cryptic but i have tried my best to post my thoughts on the phases of life that i have gone and going through.
In the nature we see - summer and monsoon, winter and autumn, high tide and low tide, new moon and full moon, day and night, disturbance and serenity, light and darkness, existence and extinction. And the list goes on and on....

as everyone being part of this nature which has a variation. every individual unknowingly goes through this. if i recollect on a any given day there is always a sway of two things that one undergoes. having good time with friends and getting roughed away by others, felling healthy and feeling sick, feeling happy and feeling let down, break through in life and a break down in life, depression and hope fullness. finding some one new in your life and having the gripping that you may be on the verge of losing out.
its so astonishing that each and everyone goes through these phases in our life and in a cyclic fashion.

What can be more surprsing !!!

the course of events that unfolded today took me with a sweet surprise. but towards the end i felt that this life definitely has many more to throw at me.

I happen to attend a wedding today, I was not so very keen in attending the wedding as I hardly knew the bride or the groom and the wedding hall was pretty far away. as my friend and his wife had invited and had email many reminders i obliged to attend the reception and meet up with few of frnds there.

After a very brief dinner I was casually walking around in the dining area when two of my friend's wife waved at me and called me. i noticed an empty chair in front them and i pretty much knew what was in store with them. i sat down on the chair mentally prepared to being ragged by them about my wedding plans.

For a while I was bombarded with questions from both. Later one of them in a mellowed tone "You know, for the past few months I have been searching for a bride for you....", tilting my head slightly and with a half smile I stared at her and took it lightly not knowing what was the real thing behind it. continuing the conversation she said "You know I had spoken to a female about you and to her sister too...". that sounded bit interesting to me I replied "o..h..k..a..y....". she replied back "the matters were almost like 50% done but... and do you know who she is ???". I spoke to myself in my mind "how would I know as I had no clue whom she was talking about ?". she proceeded further "the bride of this wedding was the female to whom I had spoken and that few of them already knew about it there!". closing my eyes and nodding my head for a moment i was stupefied.

well this life/existence has a treasure of surprises for every individual to be stunned. it all depends how one interprets it as a 'plus' or a 'minus'.
that reminds me of a zen saying "What ever happens happens for good !!!".

Dream 'n Life, a Paradox

We can dream which ever way we wont but it doesn't change the nightmare we live in, we can fly wherever we want to fly in our dreams, but the ground seems to be the same, i wonder if its good to say life is a dream, isn't it a way to escape ?
Its not as if i am not dreaming and its our nature to dream. But i guess we got to dream real. Dream as a word carries a connotation that its not real. But dreams are real and not real , same is life, its real and not real. The inbuilt paradox of all of life, so perhaps we would say we are not just dreaming when we dream we are awake and its real, just like when we are living we are just not awake but also dreaming!!!! But i hope someone out there can make sense of what i am saying, all is real and all is not real. Its for u to choose what real at this moment, its for u to choose. So choose.......

when ever there is a bad day, i say to myself that this is all just an illusion...but if 'm havin' a good one, i consider it to be real...

wi...

tempted after reading the article "Wines of France" while traveling to work today. i urgently wanted to wine. engrossed about the ABC's about wine tasting and the laborious process of wine making, the time was ticking for me to uncork the wine. unfortunately i had to wait till night to get back home and sip the wine i had prepared in the summer of 2002. through out the day the mind was flashing with images of red wine and the startrek glass. finally the wait was over uncorked my red wine bottle after 3yrs. felt delighted after looking at the transparent red color of wine. in this cold winter night for few seconds the warmth flow right from the throat till larynx was exceptional then the activated taste buds.
though this may seem very trivial for a seasoned boozer but for a tea fanatic who lives on tea this experience of wine is something worth sharing. for me the best part is the startrek glass and taking these pictures. hope to carry out yet another wine making session in summer of 2008...

mulled over by the events...

Probably this would be the last post of the year. Mirroring back the innumerable events surrounding me that shaped the year that has been two thousand and seven.
The high spot of the year were weddings. Many of my closest ones - my sister, my cousin and a whole lot of my friends ended up in wedlock this year. No year till date have I attended these many weddings. Many of my close ones already married graduated to parenthood. I myself was up close to getting wed this year, unfortunately things didn't work out.
Long drives, trek and outings was least compared to the past 9years. This year did see the closeness and the dangers of wildlife. My bike has hardly done 370kms this year, which used to be over 400kms average per week few yrs back. Car is worse it just has done a mere 3200kms this year as compared to over 10,000 kms/year. Usage of public transportation and scooter is the highest from the past 15yrs. Travel was the worst hit this year. I never made a visit to Scotland this year :(
Time towards hobbies were at all time low this year. Macro lens, the video ipod & google maps were my favourite gadgets this year. I was a spend thrift this year, blew too much money which I shouldn't have done.
Coming on to the entertainment, as always this year too no movies did impress me to the theater. The rock music on my ipod always played numbers from Floyd, Eagles, GnR, Pearl Jam, Chris Isaak, Sheryl Crow, Sting & Tom Petty. Few new artist whom I added this year Chris De Burg, Kenny Rogers, Toby, Gnarls Barkley. Maiden concert has been the best this year that has happened. As always Monaco's Formula1 this year also turned out to be the best.
Spirituality & Philosophy drew a lot of interest as against Rationalism within me this year, these have shaped me the way I'm now.
This year had the max. number of my friends left for higher & better opportunities that were knocking their step. It was an emotional farewell to few of them. My popularity/visibility at workplace was the best this year in my whole career on the contrary my job satisfaction was the worst this year in my whole career. Friends as always were the high point and very supportive during my lows, added few more new friends into my circle.
Most of the year I was drowned in severe depression and the rest of time fighting back to normalcy. Overall this year went below average to my expectations.

Looking forwards for better years to come...

Thirty3

stepping Thirty3 this Nov'21 was rather uniq. Getting wiser by yet another year, more prominent are those wrinkled lines of skin around the eyes and on the forehead, longer and grayer tufts drooping around the shirt's collar and back of my neck. Well these are adding character to my outlook.
unlike anyother year was I flooded with so many wishes. There would be a purpose for braving me with so many wishes this year, only time will reveal. Does it mean that I need to be getting busy preparing for time that is awaiting me to take me by a surprise ?? Recollecting few really good eventful incidents makes me excited and at the same time leaves me jinxed.
Yet another year has whizzed by and still 'i still haven't understood or found the purpose and meaning of life & existence'

close shaves

After many a negotiations to go or not to go. Finally 12 of us hit the road on 3 cars early morning on Nov-1st towards Bandipur-Madhumalai. I shared the rear seat on the Alto with all the camera equipments. It was around 12:40 in noon all the three cars rolled very slowly across the woods of Bandipur-Madhumalai. Everyone excited to spot wildlife & shoot it down ( on the cam ). All the cars well connected with walkie-talkies & keeping distance from each car. My hopes high on spotting wild elephants. As the car rolled across I stuck out my 300mm lens out of the car window ready to press the trigger at any small action on the wild.
There was fear down deep inside me as I was recollecting the gory sequences of elephant attacks on humans in India that was aired on NGC few days back on TV. Fear faded down after picturing the playful monkeys and spotted deer along the way. From the first car leading the way my friend with an obscured tone spoke on the walkie-talkie all I could hear was "elephants........ charge......". All I could imagine was that these guys were lucky to capture a charging elephant. Excited our Alto sped towards the first car. As we approached this car fled from scene, we never knew why they fled away from the scene. On the right side of the road just about 200 meters were 2 female wild elephants & a baby elephant. They were very much busy grazing & lost in their own world. I took few shots of it. There were people on bike stopped by and seeing the action. And all a sudden one of the female elephant charges them & chases away & all we did at that moment was fled the scene as it was vulerable to attacks.
The picture now started to become clear now when we overtook the car & stopped then to find that one of my friend in that car was bleeding on the elbow and knees and bruses on his cheek. The other had a torn shrit. Yes the unexpected had happened they were charged by this elephant when they were trying to photograph it ( watch the video below ). In the panic when they were running for life they tripped and fell. Lucky were they that the elephant backed out from the charge. Cameras that they carried were damaged but the precious life was out of danger. The lesson "Never get off your car when ur in the jungle".
On the way back around noon 1:45 we drove towards Gopalswamy Betta yet another elephant haunt. Apart from me, seena & naveen the others were apprehensive on venturing out into the open grasslands behind the temple. The sky was blue with scattered white clouds & weather was perfect. The scenery was picture perfect. With seena & naveen behind me I walked out in to the grassland towards the cliff to take a picture. I took many perfect pics there near the cliff & took the last pic. As the last pic was clicked I continued to peer into the viewfinder again to find a blank scene there. As I lowered the camera from my left hand to my horrifying nightmare I was surrounded by 1000s & 1000s & 1000s bees everywhere & the deafening humm of the bees. I immediately ducked down close to the ground and started to head towards the temple for safety and shouted to seena & naveen "Bees... run..... ". Suddenly I remembered dilip's wife who was stung by bees last year and had a painful recovery. As it was a open grassland with no shelter around and 300 meters to the temple I lost all hopes and felt this is it... there is no escape now I will be stung to death by the bees & ran towards the temple behind me. Just as I jumped across the 1 feet low compound of the temple the bees were gone... there was perfect silence and no bees.
I'm lucky to be posting this blog today. This has been the 3rd closest shave in a span of one year.

The pictures...


Masinagudi,Ooty,GSM Betta - Nov-1-3-2007


The chase video...


Chased by elephant, too close to be comfortable ( credits: Anil )

Felt complacent

Its about two years since that I had given a compelling presentation at work. Its more to do with the dwindling motivation at work place these days. It was a while since the audiences at my presentations had dropped their jaw. I wanted to make this sort of an event to happen as I was slowly becoming a 'falling star' in terms of visibility with senior management & popularity with associates at work place.
Nostalgic by the good old yesteryears of those very successful projects & the motivational talks at ted.com. I sacrificed my weekend and prepared myself for the kick-off presentation to recreate those moments of my yesteryears & replicate the speakers from ted.com. Facilely I was able to run through the presentation.
I could positively sense the audiences present there very much inspired, moved & motivated at the presentation. I turned more creative this time and served samosas & salted potato chips to all the audiences at the presentation. After the presentation there were accolades pouring in from all sides. Few were envious that they were not the elite group of audiences while few more were lot more envious about the creativity and the diversity that I had put on the contents of the my presentation and few more were hankering to recreate this sort of presentations.

My Visibility & Popularity has soared up few notches after this.
Whatever was the outcome, towards the end I felt complacent of what I achieved on this day.

[ there are no content-specific-pictures that has been posted to this post as its impossible to capture one's complacency it needs to be experienced or shared ]

Paradox of times inspired

The paradox of our time in history is that we have
Taller buildings but shorter tempers.
wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less.
We buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families.
more conveniences, but less time.
fancier houses, but broken homes.
more degrees but less sense,
more knowledge, but less judgment.
more experts, yet more problems.
more medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry,
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

Stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,
big men and small character,
steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are days of quick trips

Remember:
Spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
To give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart
To hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

[ source George Carlin ]

self-referral

When we are self-referred, We feel wonderful regardless of the situation, circumstance, or environment we are in. What this that mean ??

There was once a man who had only two things that he valued in his life. One was his son, and the other was a little pony. His whole sense of reality came from referring to these two objects. Then one day the pony disappeared. The man was devastated because he had lost half of what he truly valued. He was in the depths of despair thinking about his lost pony, when the pony returned with a beautiful white stallion. Suddenly from the depths of despair he was in the heights of ecstasy. The next day, his son was riding the stallion and fell down and broke his leg. So from the heights of ecstasy, the man was now in the depths of despair. He was wallowing in misery when the government’s army came looking for all the young men to go to war. They took every young man in the village except the man’s son, because he had a broken leg. So from the depths of despair, this man was now in the heights of ecstasy. You can guess, of course, that this story of object-referral has no ending.
When we evaluate and understand ourselves through objects, or through the eyes of others, our life is like a rollercoaster ride because the only constant about people, things, situations, and circumstances is that they change.
If our identity is tied to these, then life is always going to be unstable. The opposite of object-referral is self-referral. When we are self-referred, We feel wonderful regardless of the situation, circumstance, or environment we are in. And why do we feel wonderful all the time? Because we don’t identify with the situation; we are a detached, silent witness of the situation. We are secure in who we are, and we have no urge to prove anything to anyone. If we had the urge to prove this to someone, there we would again evaluate ourselves through the eyes of others. Self-referral is an internal state of joy, and this is different from happiness for a reason.

[ source zen ]