Worth to be called "my day"

i had forgotten about 2 deeds that i did yesterday that made me proud of what i'm and how much worthy i could be at times to others. though it may seem to be a very small thing that i did but i really know how much of a satisfaction i had in doing it and how much a relief for the people whom i served. This doesn't seem to be the first time that this sort of an incident is happening but i can recollect many such instances where i have served others.

sometimes i keep wondering "Is this the purpose why god has brought here ?? to serve others in need ??". well definitely I wonder and unequivocally I'm proud of what I'm and my existence. yes and theres a long way to go...

Yes its worth to be called "my day"

Know thyself

I have often seen that we tend to believe that we know ourself well and are aware of our true nature, a belief which is often convenient rather than true. At times it takes another person to break this self created fallacy but it is possible to get to know yourself better through conscious introspection and by seeking answers from the external world.

Accept for the fact that there will always be a difference between what we think about ourself and what we really are. One needs to be observant, internally and externally. Other people’s reactions can often give clues to our personality traits that we might not be aware of or have an incorrect perception of. If people don’t like to mingle with you or avoid you or you badly hate few people then these are the indicators to try and analyse why that might be the case. Introspection on how we are treated by other people can depict our personality. If we notice a particular slant in behavioural patterns with a number of people which suggests that it might have to do with us rather than the other person. We need to be aware that very individual whom we meet mirrors a section of your personality.

Ask yourself, “Is life being kind to me?” If your answer is an yes, then it reflects on your level of contentment. It means that you are aware of your true self. However, if you are not so happy and uncomfortable with life, this would suggest that you need to know yourself more.

Unhappiness

I know that I should try. I also know that I can't win, but I try and sometimes I pretend.
I know that I'd be left alone with my unhappiness.
And I know someday I'll find my happiness.

L O S..............T !!!

Its easy of getting lost ...

getting lost in mind, lost in thoughts, lost in discussion, lost in internal inquiry, lost in internal chatter of voices, lost over a cup of tea, lost while driving, lost in googling, lost in conversation, lost deep within, lost being alone, lost in a crowd, lost globally, lost in listening music, lost in affliction, lost in sense of directions, lost in precedence, lost in sense of perspective, lost in the future while stuck with the past, lost in crux of the problem, lost for words, lost in a flash, lost in travel, lost in respite, lost in experience, lost in "404 Page not Found".

We keep losing mind, losing patience, losing innocence, losing soul, losing maturity, losing time, losing memories, losing weight, losing greenness, losing grayness, losing focus, losing popularity, losing what was never there !!!,

The list endless...
But what is found ? And where are the answers ?

How to use that phone ?

It so happened this saturday that i had taken my niece ( 14 yrs ) and nephew (12 yrs ) to my friend's home to cut a dvd. While i was busy working on the nero burner to get the dvd done my nephew tapped me on my left shoulder and a very hesitant tone asked "Babu... that thing on the table ? Is it a phone ?" I just looked on my left on a small table was kept a red coloured phone and with a grin on my face looking towards him "Hey dumbo thats a phone, haven't u seen this one before ?". Both my niece and nephew with a very jinxed expression on their face and staring at me said "NO...".
In this age of iPhone well whats this phone supposed to be that kids in this age group haven't seen ?
Well its the rotary phone that used to "tring, tring..." once upon a time.
Oopps... I realised that definitely the rotary phones are a long forgotten history. But that definitely was a reckoning moment for the kids as they are touching the past with the rotary phone. Its so strange that I had to teach them how to use the rotary dial to make a phone call in contrary to this generation who needn't to be thought on how to use a cell phone.

[ The picture here is my nephew making a call on the old rotary phone ]

back 2 basics

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i feel better after a good cry

Why do people cry ?

Today was emotional, sentimental and very touching. This day will be a historical milestone. Today has thought me a lot on what it really takes to loose something that is close but no words to explain how close it is. Today also thought me that there are associations which cannot be told or expressed in any language. Today i learnt that i fell better after a good cry, I broke down at my desk in the morning today and felt better but that was not sufficient. the whole of today i broke down.

Yes today was definitely a key juncture of deeper emotions and sentiments. Thank Q...

'am I losing something ?

with in a very short whiff two of my very much clooooooooooose friends ( rather much more than being that ) whom i see and converse with them almost everyday since past few years have parted to proudly march the paths that they dream of. what i really adore in them is the confidence and the positiveness in their views have inspired me to a gr8 extent. 'am pretty much confident they will excel far better than what they were.
its something in the day that i will loose out - cud b a pointless topic of conversation, a blushing leg pulling session, inspiring/empowering discussion, a very down to earth moral and a comforting support, cribbing sessions, deep philosophies and the list is endless. i can already see these missing these days.

the truth is all good things have to meet an end and cannot be eternal. In these ends are the beginnings of the new.

whatever may be the case 'am loser now :(

Sleeplessness

Getting a good night's sleep is one of the most important things. Body and Brain "recharge" themselves during sleep - so if you don't get enough sleep, you can't be at your best the next day.
Off lately lot of my people have complained me about my very awfully terrible sleep pattern, infact 'am posting this blog at very odd hour in the night. But lately i have started to realise that this is something not new to me but has been with me since my college days. My attempts to sleep at 9:00 or 10:00 were all very much futile though. Am I very much proud about this ? well whats the point 'am I trying to prove here to anyway ?
But 'am really not that sure if this is good or bad :'( medical science terms this state as a classic case of sleep related disorder. Recent study also indicates that each individual has a different sleep needs, so there is no hard-fast rule that everyone needs a 8hrs of sleep. A recent Gallup survey found that stress, pain were the most common causes of sleeplessness.
So is there a pay-off for not sleeping 8hrs ??? well there are many but i have already been experiencing these days and one of the most prominent thing that i can see for myself is the "short-term memory impairing". In simple words finding very hard to recollect stuff like names of people/place/things whom I meet or see.
Whatever its going to be or where ever this will lead but 'am sure I will get some few hrs of sound sleep tonight :)

Green to Gray

Its really heartening to see green cover getting shred and butchered right in front of my eyes.
Since i broke my leg in Jan' i had not been to my favorite wilderness of GKVK campus at stone throw' distance from my home. This saturday i finally made up my mind after 6mths to go and visit all my favourite paths, trees, vantage points, gardens, green houses and watch tower that i have discovered inside GKVK. I start at 1145 sadly this time and for the first time I had to take my Activa and abandon my faithful bicycle which had taken me all around this forest. To my surprise at the entrance muddy patch of road across the huge gutter was made better for two wheelers. I was delighted as i drove across the huge gardens of sapota, mango, paddy, sun flowers and large green houses. Suddenly I was shattered to see the pond where i always watched the white breasted kingfisher diving into pond for a fish had completely changed. Its now a cemented tank and all the thick green shrubs and pygmy trees surrounding the pond had disappeared. Sadly no more kingfisher this time ( king of good times is gone ).
I drove my way further enjoying all those narrow roads completely covered with shrubs and thorns and I could make out that these paths were not ever touched for months.
All good things come to an end well the first of the ugliness i came across was garbage being dumped in the forest.
I'm not sure what sort of morons would dump garbage in the forest. Never in my past 8 years of my cycling across in GKVK i had seen such an apathy. I drove further across the woods and headed for my favourite haunt the watch tower built of stone at a very good vantage point in the woods. This watch tower gives a 360 degree view of bangalore right from the Nandi hills on the North-East till the hazy spec of ITPL in the far South-East horizon followed by Savandurga on the South-West horizon and the chains of hills around Ghati on the North-West horizon. Its this sight that i keep staring for hours on my binoculars. Not to mention the beautiful view of the prominent buildings like the CPRI, IISc, Aranya Bhavan, MSRIT, ISKON, Utiliy buliding and the UB City dot the horizon. Above all is the thick cover of forest of GKVK right in front of me around the watch tower.
But this time around the view was different it was all obscured by the four huge construction cranes that were installed right in front me. These were part of a huge apartment complexes that are being built just few meters in front of the watch tower. It was a sad state of affairs. All the green forest that i had been seeing for the past 8 years all washed out in few months. Huge trucks and bull dozers working their way into the woods and deep into the earth spewing out dust the fresh cool virgin breeze is now choking with dust. i couldn't hardly stand there for a while. I drove down from the watch tower of the vantage point in the direction of the construction, more had news was awaiting. Once where the forest stood where no sunlight could enter in the noon i was welcomed by open patches of dead and dry tree trunks and leaves and completely open skies. The whole section of this forest was completely shred and ready to be served for trucks & bull dozres for building more apartment complexes.
I have no clue how far will we go to feed ourself from this greed for our needs. I appeal the respective authorities to take necessary steps to halt such activities happening inside GKVK.
I will never-ever come back to GKVK once again, i cannot see the green cover getting transformed into concrete jungle.