Why is it that when I crave for something badly I never get it ?
Why is it that when I badly want to do something, things wont work my way ?The post title is bit an irony to the content. Well 'am not talking about what the first thing that strikes the mind when anyone reads the word sadism ;) its an irony to sadism that i'm trying to convey.
There are people who extract pleasure by being brutal. I remember right in front of me a Willis Jeep being being reduced nothing more than molten chassis and ashes, this was way back in 1991 during the big cauvery water dispute. There were bunch of goons and primary school kids totally amused by their act of burning down the jeep in minutes.
I attach emotionally to living or non-living things., like people around me, my close friends, stuff like my pen/pencil, my clothes, last but not the least my bike and my car. Though these may look very trivial they all mean a lot to me and make my existence complete. When any of these are hurt or 'am about to lose them I'll be more hurt emotionally.
Yesterday I was a victim of one such boorish act. Night I had parked my car outside my house. When I woke up in the morning all I could see was that my car was blemished by dents and long scratches on the bonnet. It looked to me that stones being chalked and hurled along with sand being scraped all over the bonnet.
I don't understand what sort of humans would get into such acts of sadism. Why do people get so low to derive pleasure from such clodhopping acts and causing emotional pain to others ?
After many years I finally felt today is a day-break from regular monotonous duties. It was difficult on how to spend the whole day, 'coz for me break means travel. But this break was somewhat difficult as i need to stay at home all day. I thought of having the whole day for me but it
turned out that i ended up doing nothing. The whole day I aimlessly sat besides the window watching the rain and clouds with my iPod plugged into my ears.
I tried my best not to get hooked into the internet, the best i could do was keep myself away till evening. Seems to me that i have become a net-o-holic. Its pretty much difficult for a person like me who is all the time outside traveling to be inside home idle and doing nothing just watching the rain. Somehow the day didn't go the way I wanted to break. I hope to take yet another day's break and see how idle mind works...
In the end i still njoyed the break for doing nothing :)
Since for almost more than a week the days are rolling-by in a very much bland fashion. Not much of a notable events nor memories have crossed.
This is something good as neither 'am i happy nor angry or cribbing or sad or wanting more. Probably its state of equilibrium that i have been floating since a week which is good for me.
But there is a saying "there is a calm before the storm"
