wi...

tempted after reading the article "Wines of France" while traveling to work today. i urgently wanted to wine. engrossed about the ABC's about wine tasting and the laborious process of wine making, the time was ticking for me to uncork the wine. unfortunately i had to wait till night to get back home and sip the wine i had prepared in the summer of 2002. through out the day the mind was flashing with images of red wine and the startrek glass. finally the wait was over uncorked my red wine bottle after 3yrs. felt delighted after looking at the transparent red color of wine. in this cold winter night for few seconds the warmth flow right from the throat till larynx was exceptional then the activated taste buds.
though this may seem very trivial for a seasoned boozer but for a tea fanatic who lives on tea this experience of wine is something worth sharing. for me the best part is the startrek glass and taking these pictures. hope to carry out yet another wine making session in summer of 2008...

mulled over by the events...

Probably this would be the last post of the year. Mirroring back the innumerable events surrounding me that shaped the year that has been two thousand and seven.
The high spot of the year were weddings. Many of my closest ones - my sister, my cousin and a whole lot of my friends ended up in wedlock this year. No year till date have I attended these many weddings. Many of my close ones already married graduated to parenthood. I myself was up close to getting wed this year, unfortunately things didn't work out.
Long drives, trek and outings was least compared to the past 9years. This year did see the closeness and the dangers of wildlife. My bike has hardly done 370kms this year, which used to be over 400kms average per week few yrs back. Car is worse it just has done a mere 3200kms this year as compared to over 10,000 kms/year. Usage of public transportation and scooter is the highest from the past 15yrs. Travel was the worst hit this year. I never made a visit to Scotland this year :(
Time towards hobbies were at all time low this year. Macro lens, the video ipod & google maps were my favourite gadgets this year. I was a spend thrift this year, blew too much money which I shouldn't have done.
Coming on to the entertainment, as always this year too no movies did impress me to the theater. The rock music on my ipod always played numbers from Floyd, Eagles, GnR, Pearl Jam, Chris Isaak, Sheryl Crow, Sting & Tom Petty. Few new artist whom I added this year Chris De Burg, Kenny Rogers, Toby, Gnarls Barkley. Maiden concert has been the best this year that has happened. As always Monaco's Formula1 this year also turned out to be the best.
Spirituality & Philosophy drew a lot of interest as against Rationalism within me this year, these have shaped me the way I'm now.
This year had the max. number of my friends left for higher & better opportunities that were knocking their step. It was an emotional farewell to few of them. My popularity/visibility at workplace was the best this year in my whole career on the contrary my job satisfaction was the worst this year in my whole career. Friends as always were the high point and very supportive during my lows, added few more new friends into my circle.
Most of the year I was drowned in severe depression and the rest of time fighting back to normalcy. Overall this year went below average to my expectations.

Looking forwards for better years to come...

Thirty3

stepping Thirty3 this Nov'21 was rather uniq. Getting wiser by yet another year, more prominent are those wrinkled lines of skin around the eyes and on the forehead, longer and grayer tufts drooping around the shirt's collar and back of my neck. Well these are adding character to my outlook.
unlike anyother year was I flooded with so many wishes. There would be a purpose for braving me with so many wishes this year, only time will reveal. Does it mean that I need to be getting busy preparing for time that is awaiting me to take me by a surprise ?? Recollecting few really good eventful incidents makes me excited and at the same time leaves me jinxed.
Yet another year has whizzed by and still 'i still haven't understood or found the purpose and meaning of life & existence'

close shaves

After many a negotiations to go or not to go. Finally 12 of us hit the road on 3 cars early morning on Nov-1st towards Bandipur-Madhumalai. I shared the rear seat on the Alto with all the camera equipments. It was around 12:40 in noon all the three cars rolled very slowly across the woods of Bandipur-Madhumalai. Everyone excited to spot wildlife & shoot it down ( on the cam ). All the cars well connected with walkie-talkies & keeping distance from each car. My hopes high on spotting wild elephants. As the car rolled across I stuck out my 300mm lens out of the car window ready to press the trigger at any small action on the wild.
There was fear down deep inside me as I was recollecting the gory sequences of elephant attacks on humans in India that was aired on NGC few days back on TV. Fear faded down after picturing the playful monkeys and spotted deer along the way. From the first car leading the way my friend with an obscured tone spoke on the walkie-talkie all I could hear was "elephants........ charge......". All I could imagine was that these guys were lucky to capture a charging elephant. Excited our Alto sped towards the first car. As we approached this car fled from scene, we never knew why they fled away from the scene. On the right side of the road just about 200 meters were 2 female wild elephants & a baby elephant. They were very much busy grazing & lost in their own world. I took few shots of it. There were people on bike stopped by and seeing the action. And all a sudden one of the female elephant charges them & chases away & all we did at that moment was fled the scene as it was vulerable to attacks.
The picture now started to become clear now when we overtook the car & stopped then to find that one of my friend in that car was bleeding on the elbow and knees and bruses on his cheek. The other had a torn shrit. Yes the unexpected had happened they were charged by this elephant when they were trying to photograph it ( watch the video below ). In the panic when they were running for life they tripped and fell. Lucky were they that the elephant backed out from the charge. Cameras that they carried were damaged but the precious life was out of danger. The lesson "Never get off your car when ur in the jungle".
On the way back around noon 1:45 we drove towards Gopalswamy Betta yet another elephant haunt. Apart from me, seena & naveen the others were apprehensive on venturing out into the open grasslands behind the temple. The sky was blue with scattered white clouds & weather was perfect. The scenery was picture perfect. With seena & naveen behind me I walked out in to the grassland towards the cliff to take a picture. I took many perfect pics there near the cliff & took the last pic. As the last pic was clicked I continued to peer into the viewfinder again to find a blank scene there. As I lowered the camera from my left hand to my horrifying nightmare I was surrounded by 1000s & 1000s & 1000s bees everywhere & the deafening humm of the bees. I immediately ducked down close to the ground and started to head towards the temple for safety and shouted to seena & naveen "Bees... run..... ". Suddenly I remembered dilip's wife who was stung by bees last year and had a painful recovery. As it was a open grassland with no shelter around and 300 meters to the temple I lost all hopes and felt this is it... there is no escape now I will be stung to death by the bees & ran towards the temple behind me. Just as I jumped across the 1 feet low compound of the temple the bees were gone... there was perfect silence and no bees.
I'm lucky to be posting this blog today. This has been the 3rd closest shave in a span of one year.

The pictures...


Masinagudi,Ooty,GSM Betta - Nov-1-3-2007


The chase video...


Chased by elephant, too close to be comfortable ( credits: Anil )

Felt complacent

Its about two years since that I had given a compelling presentation at work. Its more to do with the dwindling motivation at work place these days. It was a while since the audiences at my presentations had dropped their jaw. I wanted to make this sort of an event to happen as I was slowly becoming a 'falling star' in terms of visibility with senior management & popularity with associates at work place.
Nostalgic by the good old yesteryears of those very successful projects & the motivational talks at ted.com. I sacrificed my weekend and prepared myself for the kick-off presentation to recreate those moments of my yesteryears & replicate the speakers from ted.com. Facilely I was able to run through the presentation.
I could positively sense the audiences present there very much inspired, moved & motivated at the presentation. I turned more creative this time and served samosas & salted potato chips to all the audiences at the presentation. After the presentation there were accolades pouring in from all sides. Few were envious that they were not the elite group of audiences while few more were lot more envious about the creativity and the diversity that I had put on the contents of the my presentation and few more were hankering to recreate this sort of presentations.

My Visibility & Popularity has soared up few notches after this.
Whatever was the outcome, towards the end I felt complacent of what I achieved on this day.

[ there are no content-specific-pictures that has been posted to this post as its impossible to capture one's complacency it needs to be experienced or shared ]

Paradox of times inspired

The paradox of our time in history is that we have
Taller buildings but shorter tempers.
wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less.
We buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families.
more conveniences, but less time.
fancier houses, but broken homes.
more degrees but less sense,
more knowledge, but less judgment.
more experts, yet more problems.
more medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry,
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

Stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,
big men and small character,
steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are days of quick trips

Remember:
Spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
To give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart
To hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

[ source George Carlin ]

self-referral

When we are self-referred, We feel wonderful regardless of the situation, circumstance, or environment we are in. What this that mean ??

There was once a man who had only two things that he valued in his life. One was his son, and the other was a little pony. His whole sense of reality came from referring to these two objects. Then one day the pony disappeared. The man was devastated because he had lost half of what he truly valued. He was in the depths of despair thinking about his lost pony, when the pony returned with a beautiful white stallion. Suddenly from the depths of despair he was in the heights of ecstasy. The next day, his son was riding the stallion and fell down and broke his leg. So from the heights of ecstasy, the man was now in the depths of despair. He was wallowing in misery when the government’s army came looking for all the young men to go to war. They took every young man in the village except the man’s son, because he had a broken leg. So from the depths of despair, this man was now in the heights of ecstasy. You can guess, of course, that this story of object-referral has no ending.
When we evaluate and understand ourselves through objects, or through the eyes of others, our life is like a rollercoaster ride because the only constant about people, things, situations, and circumstances is that they change.
If our identity is tied to these, then life is always going to be unstable. The opposite of object-referral is self-referral. When we are self-referred, We feel wonderful regardless of the situation, circumstance, or environment we are in. And why do we feel wonderful all the time? Because we don’t identify with the situation; we are a detached, silent witness of the situation. We are secure in who we are, and we have no urge to prove anything to anyone. If we had the urge to prove this to someone, there we would again evaluate ourselves through the eyes of others. Self-referral is an internal state of joy, and this is different from happiness for a reason.

[ source zen ]

Visiting BR Hills after 3 years

It was a mixed set of expectations from this time's BR Hills trip. Unfortunately no sightings of Wild Gaur ( Bison ) or any wild life at all. Just a glimpse of sambar & wild dog sneaking back into the woods. The highlight of the whole trip was this event that I would always remember....
Its around 6:00 PM sunlight was dimming and we start driving South from BR Hills towards K.Gudi. On the way just near a watch tower & huge pond Dilip & Seena spot a Jungle Wagtail (its a small bird)on the road. Dilip gets off the car and starts shooting pics of it. Seena sits in the car waiting for Dilip, Naveen too gets off the car & strolls around near the pond. I too get off the car & start to capture all the 3 guys in action. I took the first pic of the car from back with Seena inside the car & Dilip walking on the road. As I get ready to take second picture.... from a distance on my right side on the back heard the roar of a Tiger. Brrrr... I silently switched off my camera without looking right or back walked straight and sat inside the car.




BR Hills - K.Gudi [ Oct-13, 14 2007 ]

When is it late

Few twist of events that unfurled past few days has made me think hard on when to call "its late" ? I concluded on "late" was losing something. I lost few due to slackness, I lost more due to short sightedness, I lost many many more due to the muted senses of the 6th sense. The hard fact is its highly impossible to catch a flight when I realise that I have bought tickets for the flight which departs yesterday.
Before the realisation can strike the flight by now has already reached the destination. It is on-time for the flight but definitely late for me :(
I have tried to make the post as less cryptic as possible. The subtle content in the backdrop here itself can be shaped up to suit any late events or circumstances.

Oct-2nd - Rituals broken !!!

It all started off on Oct'2nd 1994 and the rituals going smoothly on Oct 2nd every year-after-year. Its the first time in 13years that this ritual is broken this year. Well whats this rituals all about ? The ritual is very simple, on the 2nd of Oct I should be far faar away from bangalore out somewhere traveling.
This is how my spree to travel & the wheels on my feet all kicked in. Every Oct 2nd no matter what I have been out traveling. I can recollect the first Oct 2nd was the 1994 went to Savandurga on a Kinetic, the 1995 was on a Bajaj Chetak. Each year being unique in its own way - mode of travel, experience & place. The broken ritual looks like a bad omen for my travels for this year :'(

So far all the Oct-2nd trips

1994 - Savandurga
1995 - Madhumalai - Bandipura
1996 - Nandi Hills
1997 - Muthodi
1998 -Savandurga
1999 - Hesarghatta
2000 - Kudremukha - Kemmangundi
2001 - Nandi Hills
2002 - Goa - Mangalore
2003 - Jayapuradhoddi
2004 -BR Hills
2005 - Kemmangundi
2006 - Bandipur - Ooty
2007 - ___________

i haven't taken photos of all the trips but i have few of them here.
--





--

Chilling out my way

Its been a while since I had explored into the happening place in bangalore. Today I set aside to put my foot on the happening place as I dont want to be left behind the happening place. Well its a lazy saturday noon, blue skies, white clouds, nascent cool breeze, most vehicles are off the road due to cricket, the side walks on MG Rd almost haunted, unheard rattling of the autos. Its totally silent apart from people around talking & laughing loudly. It just cannot be prefect than this.
On the far end of mg road at cofy day on the warm granite slab & table with a hot cuppa with cookies. All my tech. stuff ipod, laptop & the data card are making it more groovy. As 'am blogging this post people around giving a confusing stare at my table, definitely its a geeky thing. But for me its a well deserved lazy saturday noon to chill out a geeky way :D

Journey of another kind !!!

Theme of the journey - Pilgrimage & Spirituality
Place of the journey - 4 of the most sacred Hindu temples in Kerala & a mosque
Reason for the journey - Experience of a different kind
Expectation from the journey - No expectation

All these years all my travels & outings were 99% of the times centered around Nature & Wilderness. Last week for the first in 12 years I went on a journey of a different kind...

The group of 36 with whom I went was very much different. Most of them were in 45yrs ~ 62yrs . I almost felt like a kid in the lot. The whole group were in a thought that was in unison with the journey. At the beginning even before boarding the bus itself I could easily make out that I was very much immature or really not ready for such a journey, but still i hanged on till the end.

The journey began with the thoughts in my mind about my life "I dont need anything & I'm self sufficient & satisfied" was shattered towards the end of the journey. "my wants" started to increase at a steady pace. I probably could not till now had the clarity as to what I really wanted . This was something an eye opener.

Due to my partially broken left leg at the beginning I thought I couldn't complete the 3hrs trek and the long hours of waiting in the line. but without any hazels I was able to make it, given the situation I consider this to be a bigger boost of my self-confidence.

Overall the journey was good in a different aspects of experience which 'am not able to clearly express in this post :(

When the fuse blow !!!

Inspired by articles that I read few days back on newspaper. This is somewhat in similar lines to few of my older posts. Also the motivation to pen this post came after I saw few of the coolest guys blowing out their fuses lately. More than everything I myself losing my cool very often these days.

A matchstick has a head made from powdered chemical. Just strike it against the side of the box and the stick bursts into flame. Aren’t we, at times, behaving in a similar fashion? Let a small thing go against our wishes and see what happens!
Anger is sorta brief madness.

Can one deter anger ??
Many a time, we allow things of little importance to overpower us. We very easily lose our temper over insignificant matters. The food tastes awful, your comrade at work doesn't listen or do what you wanted him/her to do, the guy driving in front of you in the traffic is awfully slow and not giving you way ( the list is endless )... don’t lose your cool. Patience and prudence will help deal with the situation in a constructive manner.
Whenever something angers sit by yourself and contemplate. Introspect, find out what made to lose the temper. Pythagoras commented, “Anger starts from stupidity and ends at repentance”.
Try to stretch, to the extent possible, the time gap before you react. Whenever you get a feeling that the other person’s behaviour could ignite anger in you, immediately back out of that place. If that is not possible, then try changing the topic of discussion. Never commit the blunder of reacting immediately.
After some time, when anger subsides, then respond to the situation. You would then be able to pick apt words to express yourself thereby behaving in a wise manner. Aristotle says: “It is very easy for anybody to get angry. But getting angry at the right time, in right degree, at the right person, for the right reason, and in the right manner is neither easy nor is it in everyone’s scope or frame of capabilities”.

[ few pieces of the post sourced from last monday's TOI ]

Fade Away

For past month 'am literally struggling everyday to keep up my interests/motivation alive & fresh. Its only a lick of time that 'am able to hold my interest and fizzles out in few hours. What used to be busy weekends dotted with activities has now been reduced to no-activities and complete idleness. Drowning myself in activities of interest are I felt that keeps my motivation high. As a cause & effect, slowing interests are causing a degraded motivation. I believed that taking a break would improve the situation but this time around no break has helped yet to get me that break-through.
'am not the best of me I used to be anymore.

I can classify that interests are fading & time is running out...

Its a phase in my life that I'm going through right now

Deserve

Why is it that when I crave for something badly I never get it ?

Why is it that when I badly want to do something, things wont work my way ?

Why is it that when I don't want it, it falls on to me ?
Why is it that when I feel 'am not worthy of it I'm being crowned for it ?



Unfortunately thats what and this is how things are so unfair to me...

What leads to Success

Pretty neat 3mins talk on path to success :)

Sadism

The post title is bit an irony to the content. Well 'am not talking about what the first thing that strikes the mind when anyone reads the word sadism ;) its an irony to sadism that i'm trying to convey.
There are people who extract pleasure by being brutal. I remember right in front of me a Willis Jeep being being reduced nothing more than molten chassis and ashes, this was way back in 1991 during the big cauvery water dispute. There were bunch of goons and primary school kids totally amused by their act of burning down the jeep in minutes.
I attach emotionally to living or non-living things., like people around me, my close friends, stuff like my pen/pencil, my clothes, last but not the least my bike and my car. Though these may look very trivial they all mean a lot to me and make my existence complete. When any of these are hurt or 'am about to lose them I'll be more hurt emotionally.
Yesterday I was a victim of one such boorish act. Night I had parked my car outside my house. When I woke up in the morning all I could see was that my car was blemished by dents and long scratches on the bonnet. It looked to me that stones being chalked and hurled along with sand being scraped all over the bonnet.
I don't understand what sort of humans would get into such acts of sadism. Why do people get so low to derive pleasure from such clodhopping acts and causing emotional pain to others ?

Ctrl + Brk

After many years I finally felt today is a day-break from regular monotonous duties. It was difficult on how to spend the whole day, 'coz for me break means travel. But this break was somewhat difficult as i need to stay at home all day. I thought of having the whole day for me but it turned out that i ended up doing nothing. The whole day I aimlessly sat besides the window watching the rain and clouds with my iPod plugged into my ears.

I tried my best not to get hooked into the internet, the best i could do was keep myself away till evening. Seems to me that i have become a net-o-holic. Its pretty much difficult for a person like me who is all the time outside traveling to be inside home idle and doing nothing just watching the rain. Somehow the day didn't go the way I wanted to break. I hope to take yet another day's break and see how idle mind works...

In the end i still njoyed the break for doing nothing :)

bland

Since for almost more than a week the days are rolling-by in a very much bland fashion. Not much of a notable events nor memories have crossed.

This is something good as neither 'am i happy nor angry or cribbing or sad or wanting more. Probably its state of equilibrium that i have been floating since a week which is good for me.

But there is a saying "there is a calm before the storm"

Worth to be called "my day"

i had forgotten about 2 deeds that i did yesterday that made me proud of what i'm and how much worthy i could be at times to others. though it may seem to be a very small thing that i did but i really know how much of a satisfaction i had in doing it and how much a relief for the people whom i served. This doesn't seem to be the first time that this sort of an incident is happening but i can recollect many such instances where i have served others.

sometimes i keep wondering "Is this the purpose why god has brought here ?? to serve others in need ??". well definitely I wonder and unequivocally I'm proud of what I'm and my existence. yes and theres a long way to go...

Yes its worth to be called "my day"

Know thyself

I have often seen that we tend to believe that we know ourself well and are aware of our true nature, a belief which is often convenient rather than true. At times it takes another person to break this self created fallacy but it is possible to get to know yourself better through conscious introspection and by seeking answers from the external world.

Accept for the fact that there will always be a difference between what we think about ourself and what we really are. One needs to be observant, internally and externally. Other people’s reactions can often give clues to our personality traits that we might not be aware of or have an incorrect perception of. If people don’t like to mingle with you or avoid you or you badly hate few people then these are the indicators to try and analyse why that might be the case. Introspection on how we are treated by other people can depict our personality. If we notice a particular slant in behavioural patterns with a number of people which suggests that it might have to do with us rather than the other person. We need to be aware that very individual whom we meet mirrors a section of your personality.

Ask yourself, “Is life being kind to me?” If your answer is an yes, then it reflects on your level of contentment. It means that you are aware of your true self. However, if you are not so happy and uncomfortable with life, this would suggest that you need to know yourself more.

Unhappiness

I know that I should try. I also know that I can't win, but I try and sometimes I pretend.
I know that I'd be left alone with my unhappiness.
And I know someday I'll find my happiness.

L O S..............T !!!

Its easy of getting lost ...

getting lost in mind, lost in thoughts, lost in discussion, lost in internal inquiry, lost in internal chatter of voices, lost over a cup of tea, lost while driving, lost in googling, lost in conversation, lost deep within, lost being alone, lost in a crowd, lost globally, lost in listening music, lost in affliction, lost in sense of directions, lost in precedence, lost in sense of perspective, lost in the future while stuck with the past, lost in crux of the problem, lost for words, lost in a flash, lost in travel, lost in respite, lost in experience, lost in "404 Page not Found".

We keep losing mind, losing patience, losing innocence, losing soul, losing maturity, losing time, losing memories, losing weight, losing greenness, losing grayness, losing focus, losing popularity, losing what was never there !!!,

The list endless...
But what is found ? And where are the answers ?

How to use that phone ?

It so happened this saturday that i had taken my niece ( 14 yrs ) and nephew (12 yrs ) to my friend's home to cut a dvd. While i was busy working on the nero burner to get the dvd done my nephew tapped me on my left shoulder and a very hesitant tone asked "Babu... that thing on the table ? Is it a phone ?" I just looked on my left on a small table was kept a red coloured phone and with a grin on my face looking towards him "Hey dumbo thats a phone, haven't u seen this one before ?". Both my niece and nephew with a very jinxed expression on their face and staring at me said "NO...".
In this age of iPhone well whats this phone supposed to be that kids in this age group haven't seen ?
Well its the rotary phone that used to "tring, tring..." once upon a time.
Oopps... I realised that definitely the rotary phones are a long forgotten history. But that definitely was a reckoning moment for the kids as they are touching the past with the rotary phone. Its so strange that I had to teach them how to use the rotary dial to make a phone call in contrary to this generation who needn't to be thought on how to use a cell phone.

[ The picture here is my nephew making a call on the old rotary phone ]

back 2 basics

-=[ on purpose the post is kept empty... ]=-

i feel better after a good cry

Why do people cry ?

Today was emotional, sentimental and very touching. This day will be a historical milestone. Today has thought me a lot on what it really takes to loose something that is close but no words to explain how close it is. Today also thought me that there are associations which cannot be told or expressed in any language. Today i learnt that i fell better after a good cry, I broke down at my desk in the morning today and felt better but that was not sufficient. the whole of today i broke down.

Yes today was definitely a key juncture of deeper emotions and sentiments. Thank Q...

'am I losing something ?

with in a very short whiff two of my very much clooooooooooose friends ( rather much more than being that ) whom i see and converse with them almost everyday since past few years have parted to proudly march the paths that they dream of. what i really adore in them is the confidence and the positiveness in their views have inspired me to a gr8 extent. 'am pretty much confident they will excel far better than what they were.
its something in the day that i will loose out - cud b a pointless topic of conversation, a blushing leg pulling session, inspiring/empowering discussion, a very down to earth moral and a comforting support, cribbing sessions, deep philosophies and the list is endless. i can already see these missing these days.

the truth is all good things have to meet an end and cannot be eternal. In these ends are the beginnings of the new.

whatever may be the case 'am loser now :(

Sleeplessness

Getting a good night's sleep is one of the most important things. Body and Brain "recharge" themselves during sleep - so if you don't get enough sleep, you can't be at your best the next day.
Off lately lot of my people have complained me about my very awfully terrible sleep pattern, infact 'am posting this blog at very odd hour in the night. But lately i have started to realise that this is something not new to me but has been with me since my college days. My attempts to sleep at 9:00 or 10:00 were all very much futile though. Am I very much proud about this ? well whats the point 'am I trying to prove here to anyway ?
But 'am really not that sure if this is good or bad :'( medical science terms this state as a classic case of sleep related disorder. Recent study also indicates that each individual has a different sleep needs, so there is no hard-fast rule that everyone needs a 8hrs of sleep. A recent Gallup survey found that stress, pain were the most common causes of sleeplessness.
So is there a pay-off for not sleeping 8hrs ??? well there are many but i have already been experiencing these days and one of the most prominent thing that i can see for myself is the "short-term memory impairing". In simple words finding very hard to recollect stuff like names of people/place/things whom I meet or see.
Whatever its going to be or where ever this will lead but 'am sure I will get some few hrs of sound sleep tonight :)

Green to Gray

Its really heartening to see green cover getting shred and butchered right in front of my eyes.
Since i broke my leg in Jan' i had not been to my favorite wilderness of GKVK campus at stone throw' distance from my home. This saturday i finally made up my mind after 6mths to go and visit all my favourite paths, trees, vantage points, gardens, green houses and watch tower that i have discovered inside GKVK. I start at 1145 sadly this time and for the first time I had to take my Activa and abandon my faithful bicycle which had taken me all around this forest. To my surprise at the entrance muddy patch of road across the huge gutter was made better for two wheelers. I was delighted as i drove across the huge gardens of sapota, mango, paddy, sun flowers and large green houses. Suddenly I was shattered to see the pond where i always watched the white breasted kingfisher diving into pond for a fish had completely changed. Its now a cemented tank and all the thick green shrubs and pygmy trees surrounding the pond had disappeared. Sadly no more kingfisher this time ( king of good times is gone ).
I drove my way further enjoying all those narrow roads completely covered with shrubs and thorns and I could make out that these paths were not ever touched for months.
All good things come to an end well the first of the ugliness i came across was garbage being dumped in the forest.
I'm not sure what sort of morons would dump garbage in the forest. Never in my past 8 years of my cycling across in GKVK i had seen such an apathy. I drove further across the woods and headed for my favourite haunt the watch tower built of stone at a very good vantage point in the woods. This watch tower gives a 360 degree view of bangalore right from the Nandi hills on the North-East till the hazy spec of ITPL in the far South-East horizon followed by Savandurga on the South-West horizon and the chains of hills around Ghati on the North-West horizon. Its this sight that i keep staring for hours on my binoculars. Not to mention the beautiful view of the prominent buildings like the CPRI, IISc, Aranya Bhavan, MSRIT, ISKON, Utiliy buliding and the UB City dot the horizon. Above all is the thick cover of forest of GKVK right in front of me around the watch tower.
But this time around the view was different it was all obscured by the four huge construction cranes that were installed right in front me. These were part of a huge apartment complexes that are being built just few meters in front of the watch tower. It was a sad state of affairs. All the green forest that i had been seeing for the past 8 years all washed out in few months. Huge trucks and bull dozers working their way into the woods and deep into the earth spewing out dust the fresh cool virgin breeze is now choking with dust. i couldn't hardly stand there for a while. I drove down from the watch tower of the vantage point in the direction of the construction, more had news was awaiting. Once where the forest stood where no sunlight could enter in the noon i was welcomed by open patches of dead and dry tree trunks and leaves and completely open skies. The whole section of this forest was completely shred and ready to be served for trucks & bull dozres for building more apartment complexes.
I have no clue how far will we go to feed ourself from this greed for our needs. I appeal the respective authorities to take necessary steps to halt such activities happening inside GKVK.
I will never-ever come back to GKVK once again, i cannot see the green cover getting transformed into concrete jungle.

Which side of brain does the thinking ?

Are you left brained or right brained ???










Take This Simple Test

What did i hear ?

Throughout my 32 yrs of existance my ears have picked up a wide variety of sounds around me. The list of sounds that I have heard is innumerable. My mind based up on what i heard will construct a picture in my thoughts and the reality of what I heard is born in my thoughts. Its in these thoughts of my mind is the reality. The picture that emerges out from my thoughts will either be a right picture or a wrong picture. Based on the type of picture is what I will react to my surrounding.
If in a dark place I hear a "hiss" instantly the picture of a snake appears in my thought the same moment my mind tells me I'm in danger of getting stung by the snake, immediately i react by running untill the point where I dont hear the "hiss". Did I do the right thing by running away ? Well there is no correct or convincing answer for this. The snake would have happily been "hissing" about a great meal he had few minutes ago, in that case did he have an intent to sting me ?
In any conversation that I have, lot of people say many a things when they speak. Are they "hissing" at me ? should I be running away ? What is really real in this context how can I distinguish the speech that I have heard. The solution here is pretty simple :-)
While listening I just listen, instead of making out meanings of what was said Its better to get the significance of what was told. I shouldn't be even interpretting of what the picture emerges from the thoughts I just listen. When I interpret I can't be listening. The moment i start thinking the listening stops. Just listening to what is being said rather than thinking if he/she is "right" or "wrong", is he/she simbly "blading", 'am I convinced of what he/she is saying. The other person is least bothered about my conviction. "Think" and "Listen" are two different facets of any conversation. Listening without thinking will be an useless conversation, is this true ? Let me give this simple example:
What do i do near a waterfall ? I just listen :-) I become quite and silent and absorb the serine sounds of the water flowing and be delighted. I become one with the surroundings as I listen deeper into the sound. Is there meaning from the sounds of the waterfalls does the sound of a waterfall mean anything ? Same things hold good for chirping of birds, wind passing through the tree.
Though they don't carry a meaning there is significance.
What do in day-to-day conversation I just Listen...

Heaven or Hell ?

Being alive and wanting to die and not dying is a torture, because the fundamentals of either enjoying or not enjoying the process of life — the fundamentals of what you refer to as heaven and hell — are just this: If you are in anything willingly, that is your heaven. If you are in anything unwillingly, that is your hell. What is most beautiful can become the ugliest thing if it happens to you unwillingly. What is the most beautiful thing and what is a horror is just a question of willingness and unwillingness.

So the moment you say, “I want to be detached”, you become unwilling for the process of life; you make a hell. No wonder you want to go to heaven. Because people have made a complete hell out of themselves, they want to go to heaven, obviously. I hope they proceed soon because those who have made a hell out of themselves will invariably make a hell out of the world also. If somebody is joyful he will make sure that everything around him is that. If somebody is miserable, he will cause misery to everybody around him.

Yin-Yang says if there is heaven there has to be hell and so is willingness & unwillingness.

how do i battle these 5ive thoughts ??

Five thoughts in the mind that cripples a person's happiness.



1. Anger
2. Hate
3. Envy
4. Judgemental
5. Fear






I know that its extremely diffiult to exist without these five elements of thoughts. Now I can atleast be aware of these whenever my thoughts begin to drain me into these. All i can best attempt is to simply brush aside these negative thoughts, else there will be a bloody 'civil war' waging in my mind and finally my physical body and my mind will be the captives of the bloody war.

My Mind : Is it a 'chemical warfare' in the mind or a 'bloody civil war' ?
Me : Well it all depends to the physical extent to which the war is waged.

Coffee, Hide'n Seek with Fire Sprinklers

2oth Apr'2006 it was yet another lazy sunny thursday after noon.
The time was 1510 hrs and perfect to grab a cuppa frm the cafe`. I sipped ice cold water then picked up a large pack of Hide'n Seek for me and my dear comrades in the lab. I was at the lab door by 1523 hrs. At a killing pace made my way through the artery of charis and ethernet cables and onto my L3C ( Last Lab Last chair ). Handed over the big box of Hide'n Seek to Murthy. The aroma of coffee from my cuppa was spreading in the lab. The vapours from the coffee cup placed infornt of my 17' LCD were settling on the screen. Murthy with his standard accent offered Hide' Seek to everyone and I quickly grabbed a small piece of Hide'n Seek.
The choco chips in the biscuit melted on my dry tougue. I was extra careful today not to spill coffee on my favourite creame coloured pants. Carefully picked the cup in fornt of me with my left hand and from my right hand wrapped the cuppa with a tissue. As i could feel the vapours from the cuppa tickling my nose slowly took a deep sip holding cuppa safely with both my hands. Murthy standing besides me quickly exclaimed about a weird sound of air gushing. Quickly I saw the sound was coming from the fire sprinkler right above us on the roof. Murthy fumed when few drops of water dripped on his head. But now the sound ws lot more intense and i could hear a distant water trying to gush out. With in no time the Sprinker was in full glory water simply gushed out with full force. All we did was to run out of the lab along with Adithya. Adithya screamed a bit :) after he walked out of the lab to get hold of the facilities. I quickly grabbed my cuppa and ran with it while taking few sipps.

Waiting outside the locked lab for the security officer and facilities to take control of the situation. I gazed from the glass window water getting sprinkled in all directions with full force upto 7ft inside the lab and on the glass window. All of a sudden I remembered "Black Mesa Labs" from the game "Half Life" where in the time warp experiment fails and the aliens constrained are set free and they start hopping all over the "Black Mesa Labs". Luckily there were no aliens out here in our lab.
Just then i see Muthy lurking back into the lab along goes Sachin also. I quickly go and clear all the artery of charis inside the lab to make for Murthy to carry the computers outside the lab. I see Murthy removing the computer cabinets and Sachin moving all the LCD monitors. In the extreme corner i see one of CRT monitors flickering I proceed 2 steps forward and i could fell cold water entering my shoes and my socks getting wet. I see secuirty officer infront standing on a chair struggling and holding the sprikler to plug out the water from leaking. As i proceed towards the flickering moniter the lights in the lab go pofff. Right behind the monitor i see a power strip drenched with water with its red lamp barely flickering. With my wet index finger i slowly extend my arm to switch off the power supply to the power strip.
The moment i made the contact with the switch I realise that that this could be my last flip of a switch & oops there it goes a nerve wrecking surge of current down my arm through the index finger. Just at this moment the facilities personel cut off the main power to lab. I consider myself lucky to be alive tonight to write this near death experience. Saddest part is i see my Hide'n Seek pack completely dissolved in water that was kept on my desk. The facilities put up a placard at the lab door and whisk me out.
Well i go again to cafe' and buy a small pack of Hide' seek and ensuring i enjoy it in the Sun outside the cafe' along with another cuppa :)

Why React ?

We are always so much engrossed in the situation that we often give ourself time to think, all we do is "react". We give our intuition to take control which at most times doesn't work and glides you into deep misery, suffering and anger.
What ever may be the circumstance or situation at the first instance dont "react". Just sit back for a moment be a spectator and you see "reacting" leads you no where.
Conversly to the Newton's Law "Every Reaction has an endless miserable state of action on the mind"

The unstruck sound

Intuition is the ability to perceive directly, without the aid of five senses. The first step would be to become intensely aware of the input of the five senses. First, your ears become adept at picking up distant sounds. As your expertise increases, subtle sounds from the astral world assail your ears. Sound that is not made by two things striking together, is the sound of primal energy, the sound of the universe itself. It is of different types, depending on what your vibratory frequency happens to be.


Sit comfortable put your hands in your lap, with the left hand over the right and thumbs of both hands touching lightly. Close your eyes and relax. Take a deep breath to count of five and breathe out slowly to a count of five. Shift your awareness to the external sounds. Focus on one sound, follow it for some time and then shift to another, and so on. Just be a detached witness. Now listen to sounds within your body — your rhythmic breath and heart beats. Listen to the silence between sounds. This is the fertile area where subtle and astral sounds can be audible. Observe any vibration or tingling around the ears. Gather all your awareness and concentrate on any subtle sound which you can hear like roar of ocean. Absorb all your attention into this sound and allow it to lead you to its source. Ask yourself — “Where is this sound coming from?”. The body and mind are nothing but vibrating energy and the energy is the same as the vibrating Cosmic Energy. Now go back to your breath and body awareness. Listen to external sounds. When you are ready, gently open your eyes.

L3C

Today while i was helping fixing some crontab entries in one of the labs i saw l3c popping out on my im coversation with LG.
Keen observation of passers en route to cafe` & getting a sneak peek from the corridor across the narrow visibility from the glass window lies l3c. All these years i was under the impression that l3c meant "Yamaha L3C Protable Keyboard Stand".
I'm astonished to the fact that l3c meant "Last Lab Last Chair guy". Can I get even more dumber ignoring the fact of lighter moments that life can offer...

Yin-Yang

"Yin yang is the Way of Heaven and Earth, the fundamental principle of the myriad things, the father and mother of change and transformation, the root of inception and destruction."

Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness.

All can know good as good only because there is evil.
Therefore having and not having arise together.

Difficult and easy complement each other.

Long and short contrast each other;

High and low rest upon each other;

Voice and sound harmonize each other;

Front and back follow one another.
Therefore the sage goes about doing nothing, teaching no-talking.

The myriad of things rise and fall without cease,

Creating, yet not possessing,Working, yet not taking credit.

Work is done, then forgotten.Therefor it lasts forever.

Empowering yourself

An important aspect of self-empowerment is realising our strengths and bringing them into our conscious understanding.

To realise and review your strengths, sit comfortably in a pleasant atmosphere and let the body relax. Bring your attention to the present…focus your awareness on the centre of your forehead…Visualise yourself as a soul, a sparkling point of light. Listen to the sounds…close and far away. As an observer just register the sounds…renounce the habit of judging what you experience as good or bad… just let everything be. If other thoughts pull at your mind, just let them pass...in…and out again...finding peace. From this perspective of being a silent, detached observer, look at the thoughts, feelings and answers as they come, to the questions given below. Note the answers down. Recall the times when you experienced your greatest successes. List the unique talents or strengths which you made use of at those times. List the specific traits which you admire in yourself. In the opinion of your family, friends and colleagues, what are your strengths? List your most valuable assets. Now examine your answers and summarise. What are your main strengths? Analyse your strengths and weaknesses. List a series of questions which will evaluate how effectively you are using these strengths to elevate your personal and professional lives and what negative repercussions are your weaknesses having on the same. Which strengths, if acquired, would help me improve my stature at the workplace? Is any weakness proving an impediment in maintaining a healthy relationship with my family? Am I using my strengths to empower others? Does any weakness exist within me, which if erased, would enhance my level of contentment and peace? Note three strengths and three important roles you play in your life. Check if your strengths match the roles and introspect. Is there a new trait you need to develop? If a particular role is self-selected and does not match your strengths — is it a good role for you to play?

Is it the End or the Begining...

From first instance November' 2006 just few days after my b'day something kept chattering back in my mind "this cannot be true & definitely this cannot be happening to me". But the flow of events took turns and I started to accept that for the fact that "this is true & yes its happening to me".

Did I ever expect i would be meeting a higher mind and how this higher mind is going to impact me in the months to come. The higher mind was indeed irrational in thoughts but every irrational thought had a very simple reality hidden in it. I always used to complement the irrational higher mind with a rational scientific explaination.
Slowly & gracefully I glided into the bizzare wind of thoughts rolling in my mind that lay dormat. It came so big the thoughts that i brushed aside many years back enamored me.

This was the point I felt the warm light of spiriuality was glowing deep within me. .